blogging and movies

Before I actually installed this Blog I thought I had a lot of things
to say - a lot of things to talk about - but now that it is there I
feel a bit empty and lost or maybe even a bit embarrassed and I am
wondering if that is normal, if that is what all people have to go
through before they are making their thoughts, dreams, wishes, ideas
and opinions public? It almost feels a bit like this moment in 11th
grade when I was acting in a play for the first time in my life. I
was in drama class and we had written our very own play and of course
I had to be on stage like everyone else eventhough I enjoyed writing
the play much more.
Suddenly I was waking up from a dream - I mean I became overly self-
conscious and started to reflect on myself just like I am doing now.
I am thinking what does it matter that I have to say just like I
thought I would never be able to convincingly play some character in
a play (and I think I never was able to do that).
Why should I be of any importance?
Well, I am not - so let´s just say I decided to share some
unimportant moments with you.

I never feel like that before I publish music or exhibit a drawing. I
am of course nervous and excitied about opinions and critiques but
mentally I have already left the room by then.
I am definitely nervous before a concert but once I hear the first
sounds coming out of my equipment I can hide inside these tones. I am
inside my music and almost never even stick my head out to glance at
the audience and if I do look it is because in school they taught me
always to keep eye contact when you are giving a speech - but it´s
not a real eye contact, you are more or less looking through your
audience.

I have had a long never ending cold and I didn´t go out much. I didn
´t see any concerts and missed a few that I wanted to see: To Rococo
Rot, Blonde Redhead to name only 2.
I watched a lot of movies. By far the best of them all was Paranoid
Park by Gus Van Sant. Fantastic sound design, great camera,
interesting story. I also liked: There will be Blood, No Country for
Old Men, Into the Wild and Juno. You don´t want to watch too
complicated things when you are sick, so I also started watching
Heroes on DVD which I am kind of addicted to now. Luckily I don´t own
a tv so once I am done with season 2 it will be over for me until
season 3 comes out.

I also got to sneak a peek at the upcoming Bodi Bill record and I can
promise you it is going to be good. Comes out in may on sinnbus records.

I hope I am going to continue writing...